I definitely feel like a hot mess today. I’m buried by a mountain of math homework (my least favorite subject) and have somehow found myself lost on the internet.
I blame this picture for my wondering mind. . .
Why am I thinking about ordering a Café-Mocha-Vodka-Valium-Latte?! Would vodka actually work or should I use Bailey’s instead? Can I have caramel too? Will Valium affect the taste? Will this combination make the indie music (that I pretend to not like) inside the local coffee shop tolerable? What is the apprioate alcohol to Valium ratio? Can I grind up the Valium and sprinkle it on top like powdered sugar? How much will this cost? I can’t be like those “coffee addicts” who drops $300 a month on coffee (And yes I’ve met plenty of Seattle women who do this). And most importantly, how much can I drink before a hospital trip is needed? I have no insurance of any kind, so that would be bad.
The next thing I know, I’m praying to Vodka. Are you there Vodka? It’s me Gigi. How come you listen to Chelsea Handler and ignore me? She got a deal with Velvedere that is not fair! All I want is a job at the local liquor store so I can sell your sweet, wonderful, delicious nectar so others can bask in your goodness. If you don’t answer soon, I’ll have to switch to Scotch. Don’t think I won’t do it! I’ll drink it in the most obnoxious manner too, a la Ron Burgandy. I love Scotch, Scotchy Scotch Scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly mmm mmm mmm.
Now I’m flipping between watching beauty tutorials on YouTube, writing about this blog, and wondering what the hell is on television tonight.
So much for being a productive member of society. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow :D
Ted tells porkies
17 hours ago